Why Some People Should Stay in School…

Yes, the following conversations below really happened.

A stranger got a hold of me by going through our agency’s phone directories.
“Hi, are you an IT?”
“Yes, I am. How can I help you?”
“I need help with blah blah blah …”
After a few minutes, I realized he wanted me to do his computer class homework. (Which is a very simple power point presentation)

Being bored that day at work, I spent a few minutes walk him through.

Before I hang up, he asked:”Do you guys have any IT position available? I heard computer jobs make a lot of money and I want to get one.”
Reprinted from: ClientCopia.com

I sometimes work with technical support for PC’s. Mostly it is people that have just bought their first PC and want me to configure Internet, install a printer, and such.

But this one client came to me with a complaint. He had just bought a cheap PC which came with Linux and complained that “the Internet does not work in that ****** Linux thing!”.

Since I use Linux almost every day, I decided to check. The modem or network card might not be configured. I configured it.

Me: “OK, now try to open a web page”.
Him: “See? It does not work”

Then I realized that he didn’t even have a phone line, only a cellphone. So he couldn’t have neither dial-up nor DSL access, and cable was not available in his area.

Me: “Do you have an Internet connection?”
Him: “No, but the salesman told me it came with the Internet!”

*slams head in wall*

Reprinted from ClientCopia.com

I was once an employee at a large DIY store chain in the UK as a till jockey/general dogsbody.

I had one customer ask me to scan a lawnmower’s barcode to check the price was the same as on the shelf (they are drawn from the same system, so not likely to get a mismatch) it came up as £149.99.

He told me that it was too expensive, even though it matched the price tag on the shelf (!?!) and asked me to remove it from his transaction.

I proceeded to remove the item and scan a few other items. The amount came to £3.49.

He paid me £3.50 and of course, got a penny change.

As he was walking away, he looked at his receipt and then stormed back over to me while I was serving the next customer, barged them out the way, then started shouting
“You’ve charged me for that lawnmower! Remove it immediately!”

I then proceeded to inform him that if I had charged him, the total would have been £153.49, not £3.50.

He then said “Bring me your manager, I am not happy!”

It took my manager 10 minutes to explain this while I served the following queue of equally bemused customers.

Reprinted from ClientCopia.com

Was working for an accounting firm and kept the books for a non-profit organisation. After finishing up their accounts, turns out that their books show negative profit. An entire panel of high ranking all important peaople turn up in my office, demanding to know why their books show that they are losing money. (Please note some these people have fancy pansy ACCOUNTING qualifications on their name cards)

They: Why is there a negative profit value?

Me: Your expenses exceed your income (duh!)

They: That can’t be. You must have made a mistake in your bookkeeping.

Me: I just enter the data as per your documents.

‘They ‘ proceed to check several expense transactions to see if they exist and all of them can be traced back to a cheque they made out themselves.

They: What was this check for?

Me: It says painting services on the cheque butt (double duh!)

They: Who signed for it?

Me: I wouldn’t know cos 1. all we have is the cheque butt and 2. I dun work in your office

After a long long long pause-

They: You spelt the word services wrongly.

sigh… watever…